i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
