She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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