who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
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You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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