how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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