im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize