Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
