I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize