I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize