I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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