the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
