i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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