I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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