so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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