I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
