Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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