We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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