mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize