Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
