Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
