I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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