I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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