Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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