Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize