You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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