Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
