Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
