I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
