nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
