i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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