I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
