i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
