I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
