the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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