Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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