This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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