There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
handjob tips. give me some.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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