absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
