And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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