The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Found the puke drawer
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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