i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
