Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
