I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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