so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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