Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
