I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
