he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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