Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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