I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
