He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
