Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
