Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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