It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
