She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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