Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
