Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
