We won't sleep together?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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