just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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