I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
