I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
