Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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