you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
no you cant smoke seaweed
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I need a burrito and a hug.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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